How to Find a Surrogate

Gestational Surrogacy Agencies

 

There are many gestational surrogacy agencies, several of them in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Each has a pool of pre-screened surrogates from which you can make your selection.  The surrogacy applicants are typically young women in their twenties and thirties with a low risk for disease transmission and substance abuse.  Most of them have made the decision to become a surrogate based on a combination of the financial incentive and an altruistic desire to help infertile patients.

 

Once you have selected your surrogate, she will be instructed by the agency to contact Bay IVF Center directly to set up her initial consultation.

 

We work with many surrogacy agencies.  You could find an agency on your own or you can choose one of the following agencies we have worked with and recommend.

 

Conceptual Options 12780 Danielson Ct., Suite B Poway, CA 92064	858-748-4222 ConceptualOptions.com
Creative Conceptions 25108 Marguerite Pkwy A-457 Mission Viejo, CA 92692	949-597-3191 CreativeConceptioninc.com
Family Formation 3190 Old Tunnel Rd. Lafayette, CA 94549	925-945-1880 lodm.com
Loving Donation 522 Hunt Club Blvd. Suite 325 Apopka, FL 32703	800-749-5773 407-682-6604 LovingDonation.com
Nation Wide Egg Donation P.O. Box 6277 Boise, ID 83707	208-573-7309 NationwideEggDonation.com
Surrogate Alternatives 363 Calle La Quinta Chula Vista, CA 91914	619-397-0757 SurrogateAlternatives.com
Surrogate Parenting Services 31042 Canterbury Pl. Laguna Niguel, CA 92677	949-363-9525 SurrogateParenting.com
The Surrogacy Source 2151 Michelson Dr., Suite 164 Irvine, CA 92612	877-375-8888 310-791-0367 TheDonorSource.com
The Egg Donor Program 4727 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 600 Los Angeles, CA 90010	323-933-0414 EggDonation.com
The World Egg Bank 2250 East Palmaire Ave. Phoenix, AZ 85020	602-678-1906 TheWorldEggBank.com
Woman to Woman Fertility Center 3201 Danville Blvd., Suite160 Alamo, CA 94507	925-820-9495 WomanToWomanFertilityCenter.com

 

Gestational Surrogacy Guidelines

 

Deciding about Gestational Surrogacy

 

As you go through these topics, take notes if you wish, and call or email us with any questions.

 

• Why is Gestational Surrogacy a better option for you and your partner than Egg Donation or child-free living?  Do you understand the difference between Gestational and Traditional Surrogacy?

   

• Have you discussed using a surrogate with your family? Why or why not? If so, what were their reactions?

   

• Will you tell anyone about your child's background? If so, who and when?

   

• Have you thought about if you will tell your child about his/her background? If so, when and how will you tell your child?

   

• Have you thought about if you will tell your child about his/her background? If so, when? If so, when and how?

   

• Have you considered how you might feel if, after all the interaction and sharing with a surrogate, she does not get pregnant?

   

• Have you and your partner discussed the number of embryos to be transferred? Are you aware that a greater number of embryos transferred results in higher rates of multiple pregnancy?

   

• Do you know what selective termination or selective reduction means? How do you feel about it? Do you know the risks of a miscarriage from multiple pregnancies versus the risks of miscarriage from selective termination?

   

• Have you considered how you would feel if the child were born with a birth defect?

 

How to Choose a Gestational Surrogacy Agency

 

You may look for a surrogate on your own or you may use the services of a third party Gestational Surrogacy agency. Here are some common questions:

 

• What is the fee schedule for the provider's services? Do you have to pay a fee up front? Is the fee refundable if you change your mind about a surrogate? What exactly do the fees cover? Does the agency charge differently if you pay cash, check or credit card?

   

• What is the fee for the surrogate herself? If she was a surrogate before has her price remained the same or gone up? If the intended parents pay the surrogate's expenses, does the agency provide an itemized list of expenses?

   

• What kind of screening does the surrogate need to have? What is the psychological screening and who performs it, the agency or a third party? Is there an extra charge for psychological testing (i.e., MMPI)? Can you see the results of the testing? Can you have the surrogate tested by a third party of your own choosing?

   

• Does the agency facilitate a meeting between you and the surrogate?

   

• What kinds of records and information are kept on surrogates, where and for how long? Are they accessible in the future? For how long?

   

• What is the legal contract the agency requires the surrogate to sign?

   

• What is the legal contract the agency requires the donor to sign?

   

• How many surrogates does the agency match with intended parents in a year?

   

• Does the Gestational Surrogacy agency help the uninsured surrogate find medical coverage?

 

Finding a Surrogate on Your Own

 

A surrogate can be a relative, friend, or you may want to find a surrogate on your own, rather than using a Gestational Surrogacy agency.

 

A blood-related surrogate can be an excellent choice as long as the potential surrogate understands the treatment. Also consider what would happen to the family relationships if the treatment is unsuccessful. The feeling of guilt of "letting you down" by the surrogate may be profound.

 

Your surrogate does not have to live locally or even in this country. It is possible to minimize the number of your surrogate's visits to Bay IVF Center. She would need to come for a 1 to 2 day visit prior to beginning the Gestational Surrogacy treatment and stay for one day during the treatment itself.

 

Here is a list of some factors you should consider in your search for a qualified gestational surrogate:

 

Positive Indicators:

 

• Younger than 40 years of age

   

• History of at least one full-term pregnancy

   

• History of regular menstrual periods

   

• No history of infertility or multiple miscarriages (three or more)

 

Negative Indicators:

 

• Substance abuse or two or more first degree relatives with substance dependence

   

• Current use of psychotropic medications

   

• Family history of sexual or physical abuse without professional treatment for the surrogate

   

• Chaotic lifestyle

   

• Significant current stress

   

• Marital relationship instability

   

• History of legal difficulties

   

• High risk sexual practices

   

• Under the age of 21

   

• Desperate financial situation

   

• Objection to Gestational Surrogacy by the partner of a potential surrogate

 

Once you select a potential surrogate, have her email or call us to set up her initial consultation.

 

Questions to Ask Potential Gestational Surrogates

 

Please consider the following questions when making your surrogate selection. Which questions to ask will depend on whether the potential surrogate is a relative, friend, or merely a known surrogate.

 

General Questions

 

• Why do you want to participate in Gestational Surrogacy?

   

• What are your feelings about being available in the future for the baby?

   

• What are your expectations about how a child born from this treatment should be raised?

   

• Does it matter if the intended parents are married?

   

• Does it matter if I (as the intended parent) am single, gay or lesbian?

   

• How do you imagine you will feel if the procedure does not succeed?

   

• Do you expect any legal relationship with the baby?

   

• What are your expectations, if any, around receiving a fee for your participation?

   

• Are you willing to participate a second time if we desire siblings for our child, or if a pregnancy didn't result from the first attempt?

   

• Do you have any children of your own? How many do you have and what are their ages?

   

• Are you willing to participate in a counseling session?

   

• Are you aware that you will need to sign a legal agreement detailing your willingness to sacrifice all parental claim and responsibility?

   

• Do you have health insurance in the event of pregnancy complications?

   

• If you have a partner, how does he feel about your interest in Gestational Surrogacy?

   

• What is your understanding of the medical procedures needed to prepare your uterus to receive the embryo(s)?

   

• Who will be your support person during the treatment? Who will give you your injections?

   

• Are you aware that there may be a twin pregnancy? How do you feel about this possibility?

   

• Are there people with whom you have shared your interest to be a surrogate? If so, what were their reactions?

   

• Why do you think you would be a good surrogate?

   

• What do you believe your strengths and weaknesses are?

   

• Do you have any ethical or religious viewpoints which might affect your decision to be an surrogate?

   

• Do you know anyone who has been a surrogate? What was her experience?

   

• Where did you learn about this opportunity?

   

• What are your feelings about selective termination or selective reduction?

   

• Are you willing to have amniocentesis or chorionic villi sampling if recommended by your obstetrician?

 

Specific Questions When the Surrogate Is a Relative or Close Friend

 

It is presumed that any surrogate who is a relative or close friend will have an ongoing or close relationship with the intended parents. Consequently, the questions do not need to be as expansive as with a recruited surrogate.

 

• Is there anything significant about your relationship with your relative that contributed to your decision to be a surrogate?

   

• What do you imagine are the concerns associated with being a surrogate to a relative?

   

• How do you imagine your relationship will change by being a surrogate?

   

• How does your family feel about your decision to be a surrogate to a relative?

   

• Who will know about this decision and who will not?

   

• If you have decided to keep this private, how do you expect to handle an unplanned disclosure?

   

• If you have a partner, how does he feel about the possibility of a baby born from this procedure? Will he participate in counseling if requested?

   

• Have you discussed with your partner the risks associated with this procedure and with the medication you would take?

   

• How would your relationship be affected if the treatment is unsuccessful?

 

Specific Questions for an Unrelated Gestational Surrogate

 

• Have you or any member of your immediate family ever smoked, drank or used illegal substances? To what extent and have any of these ever been a problem?

   

• Have you ever been pregnant? What was the outcome?

   

• Have you ever been a surrogate before?  If so, was there a resulting successful pregnancy?

   

• Do you have any children? If yes, how old are they? Have they had any significant health issues we should know about? What was their birth weight and length?

   

• If you do not have children, why do you want to help us have a baby?  Have you considered the unlikely circumstance where at a later date you might be unable to conceive?

   

• Why do you want to be a surrogate?

   

• If you get pregnant, will you tell your family members including your children that this is a Gestational Surrogacy pregnancy? If so, how will you tell them, and when?

   

• Have you thought about how you would feel if, after all this interaction and sharing, you do not get pregnant?

   

• Have you thought about whether you would like any ongoing contact such as pictures, phone calls or meeting the child?

   

• Is your job or school situation flexible enough to do this procedure? Do you have child care available, if you have children?

 

If you have any questions regarding finding a surrogate or to request an appointment, please contact us by phone at 650-322-0500, via email at care@BayIVF.com, or use the Contact Bay IVF Center form on this page.